Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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