after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
