My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
