just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize