i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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