it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
