so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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