I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
