mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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