Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
