I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
