I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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