Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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