Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
