i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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