The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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