O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
