i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize