Midget sex pt 2 tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
