you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
