WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
