they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
