THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't notice because vodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
