Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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