I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
