Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
