Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
handjob tips. give me some.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have post one night stand depression
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
