WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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