Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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