Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
