i think my tv is drunk
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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