I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
