I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
