Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize