Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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