yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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