Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
