It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
did you just send me my own nude
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
