I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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