I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
