You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
