I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
