3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
