I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize