You can't motorboat a personality
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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