Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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