Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
