you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
