Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
