im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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