I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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