Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
