i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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