i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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