Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
