I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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