too bad you live with your parents still
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
where are my eyebrows?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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