do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
