the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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