i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize