He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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