You're completely useless in the revolution.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
